Screw the bedbugs! BEWARE THE LEECHES!

   If you live in NYC you can't go anywhere without being reminded of the ongoing threat of bedbugs. I'm not going to explain what they are, here's a link: bedbugs?

   But, as i was sitting here watching my blood being filtered by a machine, I'll get on my organ donation soapbox later, I was reflecting on the conversations I've had with my friends and realized that there is a huge epidemic taking over the city just like bed bugs. I'm talking about leeches! Not the kind that live in water and attach and suck your blood; once used to treat medical conditions. I'm talking about the human kind.  

    Beware these leeches are sneaky and come in many disguises, your friends, family, co-workers, anyone.  They come in like a vampires drain your patience, your charity, time, energy, dignity, and respect! But wait there's more!  Some have this ability to make you feel guilty for demanding  the respect and gratitude you deserve and then refuse to accept the consequences that are of result of the situation that they, not YOU have put themselves in.

   So Q, what does one do if they find themselves dealing with a leech? 

     Well, the first step is summon your inner Claire Huxtable ( if you're new to my blog you got some catching up to do!)  Then you need to take a moment and have a chat with your leech. Be prepared, they may yell, cry, call you names, or just be stone cold quiet. Let them know how you are feeling and then give them a deadline to leave, get a job, clean their mess, get their ass in gear, whatever they need to do at that moment.  Make sure they are aware of what will happen if these changes aren't made. Be very clear that you will no longer accepting whatever behavior that has been really ticking you off. You will be treated with the respect and gratitude you deserve. And finally, stick to your guns. Do not back down.  I was told to never make promises or ultimatums that you don't intend on keeping.   

  Please don't let your emotions get the best of you and just go off.  You catch more flies with shade and honey than with vinegar.  Say what you need to say in a calm manner and get it done.  If the leeches are truly friends they will might get angry but will realize that this is for their own good. If they pitch a fit and attack you. maybe you need to evaluate your relationship.   If this a work situation, please follow the proper channels as set by your place of employment. No sense in getting fired because your give a damn broke!

QtheBowtiedOne has spoken!
   Thanks to everyone that has shown their support for my blog and please don't forget to follow on here, subscribe to it, share it with your friends, and follow me on twitter @QttheBowtiedOne!

Hopefully Ever After

   So I had a hell of a day yesterday and feeling really down. You know how it goes, you try to sleep and close your eyes but the mind is still racing and you finally give up.  So I sat there in bed feeling a bit sorry for self, cried a few tears, muttered a few why me's, then popped a Valium.  Well, that didn't work so I thought to myself MUSICAL.  I needed to escape for a hour or two.  So in goes Bob Fosse's "Sweet Charity".   Not only does this film have great singing, dancing, acting, and (of course) direction and choreography, it also tells a story of a woman who basically gets shit on the throughout the entire film and in the end finds the strength to just keep going and not let it get her down.   In fact the movie ends with, " And she lived HOPEFULLY ever." 

   Watching the adventures of Miss Charity Hope Valentine  helped me realize that no situation is hopeless and feeling sorry for yourself sitting in doom and gloom accomplishes nothing.   Are you living hopefully ever after or hopelessly?   Think about it.

   "Have you ever had one of those days that was just perfect?  Well I have.   This wasn't it! This definitely wasn't it! But, there's always tomorrow..." - Charity Hope Valentine from "Sweet Charity"

Showtune of the moment: I'm the Bravest Individual (Reprise) from "Sweet Charity"
Here is a link to one of my favorite numbers! The Rich Man's Frug! I wanna be the featured dancer chick in the middle for halloween!

 Rich Man's Frug: The Aloof
If ya have never seen it, get it, watch it , get the soundtrack,  you'll love it. Just forgive the first number of the show "My Personal Property".   It makes me wanna rip my ears off and it gets stuck in your head.  It's like herpes...the gift that keeps on giving!

Shade. Embracing the subtle and not so subtle art of shade

It gives relief from the sun. And when one queen casts it at another--or at a straight heckler--it raises eyebrows and makes the corners of the lips twitch. You might say shade's a subtler form of dishing, a mode of repartee with a black accent whose connotations are more ironic and notably more nuanced than what's usually meant by the largely straight term "dis (as in the verb 'disrespect')." Like so many terms from gay slang--black, white, and down to camp itself--shade is shot through with the idea of irony; and irony, literary theorist René Welleck tells us, is the aspect of those phrases and rhetorical figures which we are not sure how to respond to--where language opens up, through a moment's hesitation, into an explosion of potentialities, some appalling, some unimaginably wonderful, and all of which seize power for the speaker and, however momentary, articulate wildly subversive possibilities.
--From "Introduction: Shade..." by Samuel R. Delany

---

You hear me talk about shade a lot and what you read above is my favorite scholary defintion of the meaning of shade.  Although, the explanation above refers to the gay community, I would like to point out that shade does not discriminate and doesn't have to be done with any accent.  Although I feel when delivered with proper grammar it packs more of a punch.   I have been taught many lesson in shade by quite a few straight women and men.  I live for the shade thrown by my best friend who sings like Ethel merman and Patti Lupone haad a love child, and throws shade like an old black woman.  But, remember throwing true shade is not being an out right bitch.  Anyone can be a bitch.  Giving shade is an art.  The target may not even realize they got it till a few minutes or even hours later and when they feel that lil sting.  You will feel aflutter in your heart and a slight smile will form, and somewhere a shady little angel will get it's wings!

   So instead of just ripping someone a new *hole, try cooling them off with a little bit of shade.

Right me back folks!  I want to here some examples of shade you've given or received!

Summon your inner Mrs. Huxtable! Welcome to the shade!

    I have been sitting in front of this computer screen for about two hours trying to figure out what my very first blog posting should be about and nothing was coming to me.    So i turned on the telly and like an angel sent by God she appeared! Claire Huxtable.   She possesed humor, style,wit, and the abilitiy to say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done with just the right amount of bitchiness and grace.   In fact, my friends have taken to calling me Mrs.Huxtable. 
     So back to my blog!  I'm going through a lot right now and I feel as if my life is at a crossroads.   I find myself struggling with my emotions, job, relationships, and life and I've decided that now is the time to summon my inner Mrs. Huxtable and start taking care of business.   And you know what...it's working!  I find myself unafraid to say whats on my mind, to try new things, to take risk, to be honest with others and myself.   I encourage everyone who feels over or underwhelmed to find their inner Mrs. Huxtable.   Choose a characteristic of her that will help see you through what you need to do at the moment. 
   I wish I could give you a true description of what this blog will be about but, fat chance! I'll prolly laugh at people, cry a bit, bitch a little, be a lil bit nasty and raunchy who knows! If ya want to know my opinion on something ask me! Need information ask me.  I don't claim to know everything but i sure can get answers!  at the end of the day this is all about living, laughing, and loving.  So let's get started and welcome!
"It's showtime folks!"
Showtune of the Moment: Use What You Got from The Life
Bowtie rating for this day 3.5 of 5bties